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This is another post that I feel urged to respond to and would give up just because it's complicated.

I am afraid it is true that many people in China are used to the amount of freedom we could have in the country. They were too busy to catch up with the few rich. Last year during a course on the topic of public sphere, the 6.4 was the first thing that came to my mind. But I didn't feel like mentioning it, and instead talked about the new possibilities that Internet has provided. In the end the lecturer from England was just looking at me and I decided to mention this and the immense public sphere that was lost after that, for my generation, and many more to come. And then, he took out an old book with that famous picture of a young man in front of the tank.

I was 9 years and old enough to remember the nights watching violent scences in CCTV news with family. I had no idea what was happening but I remember the marching tanks, burned bodies and opened bellies of the soldiers. And I liked the name of the prime minister. He looked like a kind old man to me. And of course I didn't know what he was doing and what happened to him after that till many years later. And all these were just stories to another Chinese girl in the class who's five years younger than me- she said she never heard about these things before. You wouldn't have discussions like this in a Chinese university.

Are things gonna change? I see positive signs in painful social conflicts and tragic happenings. Many of us will probably be too old the day China is finally a more free country. We would never know how it feels like to be able to participate and make changes like in a truly democratic country, though few of us might have managed to make our fortune in the economically growing country. But no one knows, right?

Hi ly,

I'm sorry I didn't respond to your heartfelt response earlier. It moved me. You're a very good writer, you know that?

Obviously, pride and humility is opposite, but they have the same object. This object is self.Do you think so?

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